Beyond Hope
by Edwards-lambs
Summary: Bella has never had it easy. With a wild step-father and an insanely distraught mother, she had to teach herself how to get by unscathed. One night everything she trained herself to do goes to waste. Canon couples, AU, NO LEMONS!
1. A Master at Being Invisible

**A/N: Well if it isn't the little story that could! Here is our new born baby. I sincerely hope you guys enjoy this story, because I couldn't be more excited for it. Please enjoy,**

**kassidy.**

**DISCLAIMER: Although we would love to own Twilight...we dont. **

**Bella's POV**

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I stuffed my homework in my backpack and slammed my locker door. Students were starting to file out of the school in a rush to go home. I was the complete opposite – I wasn't anywhere near rushing to get home. I sighed and slung my back over my shoulder, putting my hand in my pocket as I made my way out the doors.  
As I walked toward my car, I felt the heat linger in the air. It was exceedingly hot in my long sleeve shirt and jeans. But I needed to cover what gruesome marks were left all over my body. I turned on the engine and backed out of the parking lot, I was one of the last few left. Even so, I took my time driving, in hopes that maybe I could sneak in without any notice.  
The air conditioner did wonders to the heat in the car. I cranked the window open, my hair dancing in the wind. That was the only sound in the car – the blowing wind. I didn't really listen to music anymore. The warning it gave me when it was turned on at home was frightful. But I couldn't let my mind wander down that path now. There was still several hours of daylight…I had other things to think about.

I cautiously turned the steering wheel, peering down my street with intense hope. I saw no signs of anybody else at my house, but that meant little. I finally pulled into the drive, blowing out a single deep breath before hopping out of my vehicle. The heat was so stifling I could almost feel it beating down on me. This, however, didn't make me want to rush inside anymore than before. I lagged pathetically up the driveway, putting on a brave face. A fake one, at that.

I opened the door and gave the house a brief once over. I knew Phil was here, I could hear him bustling about. Like many times before, he had abandoned his car in his stupor. Right now I couldn't care less that he had no means of transportation for tonight, even if it could lead him to take my car. Right now my objective was to get to my room completely unseen. Suddenly, I was graceful and stealthy as I rushed up the stairs silently, slipping in the guest bedroom and running to the jack and Jill bathroom that connected to my room as well.

I locked the first bathroom door before peeking out the next, checking to make sure nobody was waiting for me. All clear. I sighed happily and mentally congratulated myself. This wasn't my first rodeo. I plopped down on my bed and started my homework, busying myself until I heard the offending slam of a door downstairs. I looked out the window in disbelief; could it be twilight already? The sun was indeed setting. My perceptions automatically heightened.

I heard a car start up. _My _car. I knew he lied. He said he didn't have the other key. I growled and left my room, slamming my door. I padded quietly to the master bedroom, poking my head in briefly. I frowned at the lump in the bed, and walked forward to inspect it and make sure it was my mother.

After insuring that I was related the lump in the bedroom, I went downstairs to eat. I made enough food for my mother and Phil to have some later…if they weren't filled with other, less healthy, substances….or emitting them. I ate quickly and quietly and just enough to keep me completely satisfied until the morning. I allowed myself to linger downstairs awhile, walking down the hallway and cleaning up whatever caught my eye. I straightened the large frame of baseball bats before deciding it was getting too dark to linger any longer.

I climbed the stairs without sound, running into my debilitated mother on the way. She looked at me and touched my face, as if she was apologizing. I nodded and patted her arm, a silent acceptance. Then she left. I didn't know where she was going to go, but she was going to have to walk there. I let myself feel bad for a few seconds. But I didn't cry. It was the ultimate sign of giving in…and I couldn't afford to give in now.

I read in my room as the sun faded, listening for everything and anything. I was just about to turn over and let sleep take me when the phone rang. Only one person could be calling. The only person I wanted to talk to. I scrambled to get downstairs when I realized something was off.

The phone wasn't ringing any longer.

In my excitement I had stopped listening, stopped paying attention. That was a mistake I could never allow myself to make. The most important rule had been broken.

I heard music coming from the car parked outside.

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**A/N (1): I hope you liked it! I personally love the next chapter...and I cant wait to share it with you guys...so review! And yes...we are aware nobody has said a word so far...but there will be dialouge next chapter (however little...it will be there.)**

**Kassidy**

**A/N (2): As of now, I'm writing the second chapter. It's a little intense, so you have to prepare. And I just want to say Kass and I have been planning this for months, and the fact that it's finally up is amazing.**

**Karina**

**Review : )**


	2. Subconscious Changes

**A/N: Here is the second chapter of our lovely story. Karina deserves most of the credit for this one...I just wrote the last bit (I saved her from her inspiration drought) and a few of the paragraphs are from the original draft, and are mine as well. But Karina organized it and did a fantastic job of coordinating the two pieces and making it all fit. **

**Since Karina did so well, and I'm not too shabby myself, do us a big favor and REVIEW!!!!**

**Disclaimers: No matter how much Karina and I may want to own Twilight, we don't**

**Bella POV**

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I stood frozen on the stairs, my hand clutching on to the railing so hard that my knuckles were turning white. As much as I wanted to run, my legs wouldn't follow the demands that needed to be done. It was as if horror and stupidity took over my mind and was telling my body what to do instead of listening to my subconscious. Isn't there some sort of survival instinct that's supposed to kick in? I felt my body start to tremble as I gnawed on my bottom lip.

_Move, you idiot. Move!_

Right, move. I turned and began running up the stairs to my bedroom and almost escaped when the phone slammed on the counter top. I yelped in surprise and quickly glance over my shoulder to see Phil all red-faced and sweaty, and definitely drunk to the extreme. I could practically smell his disgusting alcohol filled breath from where I was standing. He was looking at me with anguish and lust in his eyes, making me gasp and run faster to the last door down the hall.

Phil started to run after me in a way where he was slightly swaying and a little wobbly. Even with that, he was way faster than me. He was a few feet behind me and it didn't take me long to realize that I wouldn't make it to my room without getting caught by him. I made a jerky stop to the linen closet on my right and fumbled with the doorknob with my shaky hands. Just as Phil was about to grab me by my arm, I opened the door and slipped in. I was able to lock it and press my back to the back of the closet. As he pounded on the door, all I could do was pray that he would eventually give up and leave. As much as I prayed, I knew that would never happen.

"Isabella!" he bellowed, hitting the door harshly with his fists. "Someone called for you. Don't you want to come out and talk to him?"

I didn't answer him; I knew what he truly meant: Don't you want to come out so I can take you to my room?

_Thud._

"Open this goddamn door!"

I panted. I couldn't scream, not for the life of me. I would open my mouth and nothing came out. It was like a dream but so much more frightening, there was no comfort in waking up. No caring parents that would soothe you and lull you back to slumber. This was real. This was my living nightmare. I tried to think of calm thoughts, things that would halt the dark images running through my head. My own mind surprised me, taking me to a place I hadn't even acknowledged in years.

In my worrisome, I hadn't noticed that it was suddenly quiet. Maybe he did give up. Maybe he was now resigning to another club to pick up the next whore he could get his hands on. Maybe I could get out of here and…

_Slam!_

I jumped and covered my mouth with my hand, tears streaming down my cheeks. Phil was trying to break through the door with a baseball bat, yelling a thread of profanities with my name every single swing. The closet didn't have much depth and the farthest I could go was the back corner. All too soon, the baseball bat made it through the door and Phil's dry hands seeped through to unlock the door. _Shit_.

Happy thoughts, Bella. Happy thoughts.

I closed my eyes and forced my brain to think of what actually mattered. I usually didn't think about Charlie, the smiling, easy-going father of my early childhood. The down to earth police officer of a small town. But, as Phil stalked forward, with a look that was almost inhuman, I couldn't help but wish he hadn't died mysteriously all those years ago. I couldn't help but want, with every fiber of my being; my big, strong, overprotective daddy was here to save me.

I gulped and squeezed my eyes shut thinking of another happy place. The first thing that came to mind was Calgary, Canada; the quaint city my brother lived in. Before I could fully focus on my loving, calm brother, a twist of pain shot through my head, slowly spreading and attacking every nerve in my body. I had been hit, not with a hand, something else.

I barely had the strength to open my eyes, let alone scream. This was so different from the movies. It took way too much energy to yell or make noise. When I finally forced my eyes open, I saw Phil. He was standing at the threshold of the closet, with the most evil look in his eyes holding the bulky object. The last thing I noticed before succumbing to the darkness was glass shattered on the floor.

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I had regained some perception, and I couldn't be sure if this pleased me or not. For one, I didn't know how long it had been; was Phil still here, waiting for me to awake so I could remember his torture forever? Or was it over, the damage already done? I couldn't answer my own inquiries; I couldn't even open my eyes or breathe properly. There was no chance of standing or talking, or smelling for that matter. But I could hear, oh could I hear.

"You son of a mother fucking bitch! I leave for college under the impression that Bella would be in great care and I come back to find that I was wrong. Terribly wrong! What else have you done to her, you failure?" I heard a voice yell. It sounded familiar, exactly like Jasper's. Wishful thinking.

Phil laughed like a maniac. "I think the question is, what haven't I done to her?" He laughed even harder.

"You're a sick man, Phil. I don't know why Renee married you. We're leaving; I hope you go to hell."

Footsteps started to make my way, but I was too out of it to have any sort of emotion or rational thought. I heard rustling, the cracking of drywall, and the opening and closing of doors. However, it didn't seem as loud as it should be, almost as if somebody had turned down the volume, or thrown a blanket over the radio. Suddenly I was being lifted, and as every injured muscle and bone screamed in protest, the hurt took control of my body once again, and I succumbed to the sweet nothingness that awaited me.

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My hands were tied onto the headboard of the bed. I thrashed my arms, trying to break free, but the rope only dug into my skin even more. I started to kick my legs in fear but he was smart. He tied my ankles to the bed so that I was restricted of movement. By this time I was sobbing and had lost all sense of hope. I wanted to die right then and there, instead of having to experience something so gruesome and perverted.

He had stripped off my clothes so that I was only in my underwear. I felt so exposed. He leaned closer to my face, his breath hot against my skin. His eyes were filled with lust and an evil smile plastered on his face. I turned my head when he started to caress my cheek. I didn't want to look at him; I didn't want was going to happen to me.

He gripped my chin and pulled me towards him. His lips crushed into mine and I struggled to pull away. Though the more I tried, the longer he made the kiss. It was disgusting, and I could taste the hint of liquor. He finally pulled away and brushed my waist with his hand. He began to unclasp my bra when I kneed him in the place that counts. He contracted, but soon recovered.

He looked back at me, and this time even more determined than before. I caught a glimpse of malevolence in his eyes before he –

I shot up from my bed with sweat matted on my forehead and neck. I pulled my hair out of my face and tucked it behind my ears. I was breathing heavily and quickly, my heartbeat racing and beating so hard I was sure it could knock down a door. I swallowed before I took one last deep breath and allowed myself to calm down. Tears began to form in my eyes and race down my cheeks as I remembered about what I dreamt about. I swiped my cheeks of any tears and brought my hand to my night table to turn on the lamp, but instead of meeting the switch, I was wafting the air.

Frantically, I turned my head to see that my night table wasn't even there. Squinting my eyes, I could see I wasn't even in my room. My room consisted of bland beige walls and a small bed with a night table and a desk. The window wasn't very vast and my closet was so small it would be considered a bookshelf. This room was the complete opposite – with its warm yellow walls, dark wood colored bookshelves and tables a plasma TV hanging opposite the bed and a closet that seemed big enough to be a small boutique. I then took notice that the bed I was in wasn't tattered and stiff, but soft and warm and not to mention huge. In all of the esthetics of the room, I forgot that I didn't know where I was, and I started to panic.

I sprung out of the bed and crawled into the back corner of the room, shaking and screaming. The screaming was much worse than the trembling – which was saying a lot because I was shaking so much that the life of me could have been wiggled out. The door burst open and my eyes were open enough to see a small looking girl standing in the doorway with a scared and concerned expression on her face. She ran back out and started yelling unintelligible words to someone, but I couldn't hear because I was still shrieking manically. My throat began to throb so I stopped screaming and decided to just shut my eyes.

In the midst of it all, I could feel another presence in the room. Even then I didn't want to open my eyes; I just brought my knees to my chest and put my head down; the all powerful fetal position. The other person in the room was now beside me and I knew it was a man because of his careful footsteps, large shadow, and heavy, husky breathing. He put his hand on my shoulder, but did not shake me as I anticipated. Instead he gave me a reassuring, though hesitant, squeeze.

"Bella," he said softly. I didn't respond, though the voice sounded familiar. "Bella," he said again. Suddenly I became confident that this was the same loving, calm brother that brought me happy thoughts in a time of horror.

I opened my eyes slowly and saw Jasper with sad eyes as he sat on his knees beside me. "Jasper?" I squeaked. He nodded and I felt tears begin to form in my eyes. I threw my arms around his neck and brought my head to his chest, staining his shirt with my tears. Jasper rubbed soothing circles on my back and smoothed my hair.

"What has he done to me?" I sobbed pathetically. This was not the girl I used to be. The old Bella had a difficult life, but accepted the cards she was dealt. She was strong and learned to make her way in the world, shitty circumstances and all. She didn't condone pity and she had always reduced crying as giving in.

This Bella…was different. This Bella was new. She needed a shoulder to cry on and people to help her. This Bella was afraid that standing on her own two feet would cause her to fall. The world was even crueler than it used to be…and for now, I had no choice but to be this Bella.

As if Jasper was in sync with my thoughts, he barely whispered, "You will be okay again, Bella. You will have your ups and downs and all around crappy days, but the rollercoaster ride will end one day. You'll be okay."

I could only hope.

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**A/N: So Bella had a breakdown. We ended the chapter here because the emotions were getting pretty crazy, and we figured it was time to stop and step back for a moment. Process the information and get ready for the next chapter...which shouldn't be as depressing. **

**A/N: Hi . . . this is Karina : ) So I wrote most of the chapter but had the worst writers block and then had to go on vacation. So when I came back, I STILL had a writers block. So Kass was nice enough to help me with the last bit. Hopefully you liked it!!! Review, review, REVIEW!**

**REVIEW PLEASE!!!! WE WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER!!!**


	3. Let's Hope for a Miracle

**A/N:**

**~ Thank you to all who read this story. It's not updated often, and Karina and I should definitely work on that. Please stay with us. **

**- Kassidy.**

**DISCLAIMERS:**

**We do not own the rights to The Twilight Saga, sadly. **

**Bella's POV**

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I woke up to the sound of bustling in the living area. I immediately panicked, not remembering where I was or how I got there. My body tensed, waiting for Phil to find me. He never came. I opened my eyes and recalled everything that had happened in the last thirty six hours.

Phil. Closet. Jasper. bats. Calgary.

I was in Calgary with my brother, who had arrived at my house just in the nick of time to save me from Phil-I winced at his name- and he had brought me to his house. I sighed, and climbed out of bed. I chanced a glance at myself in the mirror and instantly broke down at the sight. This is what I had become...a piece of used garbage, no better than the dirt on my shoes. This is what Phil had done to me; he destroyed me... perhaps emotionally more than physically.

The scars would heal: the bruise that seemed to cover my entire body, the cut that ran from my temple to my shoulder blade, the swelling bump on my forehead, and the fingers that had been dislocated- which were looking magically less gruesome- they would heal. But the agony, the trauma, would that go away? Not knowing the answer made me cry even more.

"Bella! Bella, sweetheart you're okay," Jasper was at my side faster than I thought possible, picking me up and setting me on his lap. I suddenly felt angry, and I stood up in such a sudden rush it made me dizzy. I knew that my whole body was protesting the movement, but it didn't matter. I had no control; the scars Phil had left me with had poisoned my body like venom, manipulating my suddenly bipolar motions.

"NO, I'M NOT!"I screamed irrationally. I felt guilty as soon as the words were out, "Oh Jasper, I'm sorry, I just-"

Jasper cut me off, "Bella it's understandable. You were hurt, and it's okay to be frustrated. Do you need anything?" When I shook my head, he continued, "Okay, today we have an appointment at the law office so we can square away all the charges. The doctor is coming. He's been here already, but he wants to see you awake-" He stopped when he saw the look on my face. I couldn't help but cry just thinking about it. The enormity of the situation finally settled in.

"Lawyer? " I stuttered. An eerie silence settled over the room, save for my blubbering and bawling.

A pixie like girl entered the room, walking with a natural dancer's step. I wasn't questioning her presence, and I wasn't afraid of her. She was too beautiful, too sweet looking. She rushed over to me with a glass of water, a cold rag, and some medication.

In my hazy stupor, it took me a moment to realize that I knew this person. Where was she from?

After a moment of contemplation, it clicked.

"Alice?" the word came out of my mouth dryly, a cross between a question and a wail. As glad as I was to see her, I didn't want her to have to be here. She shouldn't have to help me, she shouldn't have to care. Alice should have been with her family, she should have been doing something worth her time. She shouldn't waste her time on a broken soul, on somebody who didn't deserve the attention and care she would so willingly give. I wanted her here at the same time I wanted to be erased from the world like a bad spelling mistake on a paper.

That's all I was- a bad mistake, a burden on the lives of good people.

My thoughts increased my depression, and my tears increased with it.

Alice flashed me a smile so genuine, it almost made me want to stop crying, just so that I could see a smile like that again.

"Hey Bella, how are you?" she whispered.

I looked at her with an expression I hoped was sarcastic.

She just nodded sullenly, "Take these," She said, handing me the medication and water. As I sat there, she slowly and gently wiped off all of my cuts and bruises, as if that would wash away the memory of how they got there.

I was exhausted, too exhausted to thank Alice, and too exhausted to talk to Jasper. My brother had noticed my fatigue and picked me up to put me in the bed. Alice climbed in the bed with me and put her arms around me. For once in an extremely long time-too long- I felt safe, I felt loved, and I felt _home._

When my eyes opened some few hours later, I noticed a stunning blond man sitting on my bedside. He smiled and greeted me, "Hello Bella, I'm Dr. Cullen. How was your rest?"

I already appreciated this man for the mere fact he didn't ask me how I was feeling, because I obviously felt like shit. "It was okay."

"No nightmares?" He asked, genuinely concerned.

"Nothing too bad," I responded.

"Well, you're wounds look better as well," he said, smiling gently.

"Dr. Cullen-"

"Call me Carlisle."

"Carlisle, how long have I been here? Sleeping, I mean."

"Well, you've been conscious several times, though you weren't lucid. But I'd say about a week you've been resting."

"Why am I not in the hospital?" It suddenly occurred to me that I should be under professional care.

"I came here immediately after Jasper arrived. He was so worried and anxious he didn't know what to do. He didn't take you to the hospital in the High Desert because he wanted you away from Phil as soon as possible," he explained.

"So why am I not in the hospital in Calgary?"

"He didn't want you to be a gossip topic. Confidentiality was important to him, so I promised to make house visits daily."

"Oh. Well thank you," I said, awestruck by this man's graciousness.

"I couldn't help but agree, I have kids of my own, a daughter just two years older than you. If something even half as bad as this happened to one of them…"

"I get it," I stopped him; "You're Alice's dad?"

"You are feeling better. But yes, I am Alice's father."

I nodded, staring off into space, waiting for Carlisle to finish checking my injuries. As he was just about finished, Alice and Jasper came in the room with bright smiles on their faces.

"So?" Jasper asked, almost excitedly.

"Well Bella, you should be awake more often now, though you will get tired easily. If you want to get out of this room, you most certainly can, but I don't suggest anything more strenuous than television or reading. I recommend baths until you're strength is built up."

"That's great news!" Alice said exuberantly.

"Can I bathe myself?" I asked, causing Carlisle to chuckle.

"Jasper's right, you are Ms. Independent. But you should still have somebody supervise your baths, at least until I give the okay."

"When will that be?"

"If you heal well, maybe next week."

"Thanks, Carlisle," Jasper sighed.

"No problem. Here's the prescription for her medication, I'll be back tomorrow unless you call before then," I heard Carlisle's voice gently fade as Jasper walked him out.

When he came back, he joined Alice on the side of my bed.

"Anything you'd like to know? I imagine you are confused," Jasper said.

"Do I have to go to school?" was the first thing that came out of my mouth.

"Yes," he laughed, "But not until you are well enough, of course."

"Are you living here, Alice?" I fired off again.

"Only temporarily. I moved in when you got here," she affirmed.

"Can I get out of bed now?" I asked, realizing how tired I was of being in the same clothes, in the same bed for a week, even if I wasn't aware of such things beforehand.

"Of course," Alice said, "Where do you want to be?"

"Umm…Can I take a bath, please? And maybe change my clothes. And lay on the couch?" I requested hesitantly. I felt stupid for being so needy, but I really had to get out of this room.

"Sure," Jasper chuckled, "Alice will help you bathe and get dressed. Let's get you to the bathroom."

My bath was awkward at best, and getting dressed was embarrassing and painful. Having Alice see my wounds was sort of like showing somebody your nude baby photos. Completely horrid, but you go through it just to get it over with. When I finally landed on the sofa I sighed, comfortable and content.

Alice flipped on the TV, but wouldn't settle on a channel. When I finally told her to stop on one I realized what her indecisiveness was about.

Me.

Everywhere.

On every news channel.

Right next to a picture of _him_.

Female voices, male voices, it didn't matter. They were all saying the same thing.

I began to cry again. Jasper and Alice huddled around me, patting and hugging, trying to soothe me.

Finally, I fell asleep.

And when I woke up, I didn't feel like being active so much anymore. The bed that was once too constricting was now my solace.

I didn't want to be independent.

I just wanted to sleep.

For days, I did just that. I recall getting up for bathroom breaks briefly. I'm positive I didn't bathe.

I dared not turn on the T.V. - especially not that. The few times I was awake, I stared at nothing.

I imagined everything.

The running and the panic. The way _his_ footsteps sounded before they reached me. The pain that encompassed my entire body until it meshed into one complete throb.

I wished I had gotten hit hard enough to lose memory of that night, as morbid as that sounded. Though the images themselves were cloudy and the order of events was jumbled, I could remember the pain and the sounds- if not the sights, definitely the sounds.

These memories suffocated me in my sleep. They pinned me to the bed and strangled me. I couldn't escape them. Sometimes I was afraid I wouldn't wake up. Others I wasn't even aware I was dreaming.

Jasper would deliver food and beverages every once in a while. A few crackers and some fruit here, some water there. I would groan internally, but consume it nevertheless. Inevitably, it would make another appearance.

He brought pills every day, too. I didn't ask what they were for, specifically. I trusted that Carlisle would only prescribe what I needed and that he knew what he was doing.

I looked like hell. Not that I'd visited a mirror recently, but I knew my outer shell reflected my inner emptiness well. My physical looks deteriorated to nothing as my sanity did. The thought that Carlisle believed I would have been able to function properly- however long ago that was—was ludicrous.

I wasn't _functioning-_ period.

Alice and Jasper seemed patient with my mental state and means of coping, but I could tell they were anxious for me to get better.

Today, Alice had marched into my room and pulled my sheets back, causing me to jump.

"Alright Bella," she said, "It's time for you to bathe."

I responded with a small shake of my head.

"I understand that you don't feel like doing anything right now," she continued, unshaken by my denial, "But this is your hygiene we're talking about, and it wouldn't hurt if you let me take care of it for you."

She had a point. At the very most I would have to sit in some bubbles and continue to stare off into space. I conceded, and she helped me to the bathroom.

"Would you like to see yourself in the mirror?" She asked, her voice an octave lower and far more gentle than before. I thought about it. It had been a while since _that night_. The physical damage was surely better. Plus, I was curious.

"Yeah," I croaked out. I walked over to the mirror and looked at myself for the first time in weeks.

I wasn't surprised. My face was pale, my cheeks were sallow. I had bags under my eyes. My hair was in the messy bun Alice had put it in a few days ago. My lips were chapped. My eyes were lifeless. The bruises were yellowed, if not gone. The stitches had been taken out, leaving a few raised, pinkish scars.

I ran my fingertips over the damaged areas. They would go away. I took comfort in the fact that one day, I'd be able to look at myself and see little physical representation of that night. I didn't have the strength to face the fact that the truth would always be in my eyes, though.

Eventually, I climbed in the bath. Alice let me soak in there, before she slowly washed and conditioned my hair. When I got out, she handed me fresh sweatpants, a tank top, and underwear, and then braided my hair. I returned to my room to see that she had changed the sheets.

"Do you want to watch T.V?" she asked, earning a vicious shake of my head.

"What about something bright, like a cartoon?" She insisted. It was obvious she just wanted me to do something remotely productive. A cartoon didn't seem too harmful, so I agreed. Mostly I didn't want her to feel like she was fighting for a lost cause. Even if I knew better.

My approval of her idea exhilarated her, and she proceeded to pull out the first season of Little Bear on DVD.

"Little Bear?" I asked, almost wanting to laugh.

She shrugged, "It's virtually conflict-less. The bright colors and cute animals are easy to love."

"How'd you even get that?" I wondered.

"Hours of online searching," she replied nonchalantly, popping in the first disc.

We watched about half of the first DVD, when I started to feel drowsy. I had just started to doze off as Jasper returned from his errands. I heard him converse with Alice.

"She got up?" he asked, bewildered.

"She took a bath and we watched some toddler cartoons," Alice said. Her words suggested that this was no large feat, but her tone was nothing but excitement.

"Definite progress," Jasper said - I could almost hear him nodding.

"She'll be okay," Alice said with the utmost conviction.

"Well if you say so, then it's hard to believe otherwise," Jasper agreed.

"That's because I'm always right," Alice said smugly.

I wasn't sure what was said after that, all I heard was the hum of their voices— a deep rumble and a fast chirp. Their contrasting tones comforted me as I drifted off into what was the first dreamless sleep in a long while.

When I awoke, I felt remotely better. I had been relocated to my bedroom, and was accompanied by Carlisle.

"Good evening, Bella," he greeted, smiling kindly as always, "It's been a while since you've been awake for a visit."

"Yeah," I said—I had nothing else to offer.

He proceeded to check all my disaster areas, gentle and focused. When the appointment was nearing its end, Jasper and Alice entered the room.

"How's it look, doc?" Jasper inquired.

"She's much better, physically," He responded. Alice and Jasper nodded their heads knowingly, as if this was old news. All three of them seemed to share an apprehensiveness which frankly made me nervous.

"Bella, it's been three weeks since your accident," Carlisle began.

I cut him off, "That was no _accident._" I spat.

He continued, ignoring my statement, "In a short amount of time, you will be in good enough health to attend school."

I groaned, nodding. This was going to happen sooner or later.

"I figured as much," I sighed.

"That's not all," Jasper said tentatively. My brow furrowed. Preparation for school was something I was ready to hear about. I wasn't aware of any other changes that were to take place.

Oh, I was so stupidly ignorant.

"What you went through," started Jasper, "It was terrible. The physical pain is only one aspect of the situation. The emotional pain is what we're most concerned about. You will be physically ready to continue school soon. But are you emotionally prepared?"

I stared, shocked. I knew that I was broken and empty on the inside. I knew that I would live with this pain and hatred for the rest of my life.

I didn't know that the three people before me had picked up on my insight.

"I… I don't know," I stuttered, unsure of what to say. I had trouble comprehending my own emotions, let alone expressing them.

"Bella," Alice whispered, "We think it would be best if you talked to someone about what happened. You may be uncomfortable with telling us, but you need to disclose that information to heal."

I should have realized long ago they would recommend I see a shrink. I should have known that I would at least have to go once. But I wasn't in the correct state of mind for that yet.

"I can't," I said, my words a broken whisper. Remembering that night was painful enough—I would not be able to coherently project the story to another person.

It would be like telling a ghost story-except all the more frightening.

Nobody knows what truly happened that night. Not even me. I was unconscious for a lot of it, and Jasper was only present for the end of it. Besides Phil, everybody was in the dark. What little I could recall, I was adamant about keeping to myself. I didn't want anyone to hear of that night. It was too gruesome to share—too disgusting for other ears.

"Bella, you can't run away from it," Carlisle said.

"Can't I?" I croaked, growing defensive.

"It's not going to go away. You have to overcome it now, so you can go on with your life," Alice argued.

"Oh really?" I screeched, "Do you know what it's _like_? No, you don't. You have a loving father and mother and a lovely house and a lovely boyfriend. You don't even know what it feels like to have your family spread out all over the continent, too sickened by their own flesh and blood to see each other's faces!"

"Bella!" Jasper tried to interrupt, though I wouldn't let him.

"You don't know what it is like to be the only one who can't leave! To hide in your own home. To have to be the grown up at seventeen. _To be_ _raped by your stepfather."_ I screamed, standing up and leaving the room.

I wandered frantically through the house, disoriented, searching for the door. Just as I was about to exit, Carlisle put his hand on my shoulder. I turned to face him.

"I'm not going to tell you to stay," he said, putting his other hand up, "I'm just asking to join you."

I thought about that. Carlisle wouldn't say anything to upset me, I could be sure of that. Anything he said would be reasonable. I nodded, walking out the door with him at my side.

"Bella, Alice and Jasper are trying their best to help. You know that," he said, "You have every right to be angry, but not at them."

"I know. I lost it." I mumbled, whiping the tears from my eyes and smoothing my hair back.

"You have too many pent up emotions," he said, turning to me.

"I'll say," I scoffed.

"I'm no therapist. But I've taken some courses, read some books. I've been studying it more frequently recently," he said. I wondered why he was telling me this.

"Okay," I said, not sure where he was headed.

"I believe I know enough to help. If you don't want to talk to a stranger about what happened, I'd be glad to hold periodical meetings with you," he explained.

"Can I ask you a question?" I said.

"By all means," he encouraged.

"Why are you so eager to help me? Out of all the patients in the hospital, why do you make house visits to _me_? Why do you want to counsel _me_?" I asked.

He chuckled, "Jasper and Alice have known each other for a good few years. He's become part of my family. When I first visited you, the look in his eyes killed me. He acted as if the world was ending. And I could see that from his perspective, it was. He cares a lot about you," he said, his eyes meeting mine.

"And…"

"I could tell Alice loved you too. When I saw the damage, my heart broke. I've never been so compelled to heal somebody as I have been to heal you. The idea that somebody as charming and innocent as you could be thrown into such a circumstance angered me. I was willing to do whatever it took to help you- I still am," he finished, smiling down at me.

I realized I was crying, yet again. Silent tears rolled down my cheeks. That was possibly the sweetest thing anybody had ever told me.

"_T-thank_ you," I stuttered in disbelief.

"My pleasure," he replied.

"And I'll think about your offer," I said, "I just need to wrap my head around it. I don't know when I'll be ready for that sort of thing."

"You're going to be okay," he said surely, convincingly

"Yeah? How do you know?"

"I've seen a few miracles in my day."

* * *

**A/N (1**):

**~ Carlisle is so damn insiprational, you can't help but love him. Karina is writing the next chapter... yay! **

**On a side note... _The Twilight Saga: Eclipse _is the most amazing movie known to mankind. If you have not yet seen it... get yo' butt over to the theater and watch it. It's epic. **

**- Kassidy**

**A/N (2):**

**To start things off, I love how we (Kassidy and I) say A/N 1 & 2, I just think that's kind of humorous. Don't know why haha.**

**Anyways! Kass pretty much wrote this whole entire chapter, not only making me feel guilty, but also like the laziest among lazy asses. It was very well written, so koodos to her! Yes, I'll be writing the next chapter - hopefully I can get it out soon. I'm working on it as of right now, but this Bella is very complex. I find it quite hard to get myself in tune with her sometimes. BUT, I'm still working on it haha. **

**And, I completely agree to Kassidy's note about Eclipse. BEST TWILIGHT MOVIE YET! Pretty much cried when it was over . . .**

**If any of you have questions about Calgary (Since I am going to assume that not a lot of people know the cities of Canada as well as the cities of the US), feel free to ask. I'd be glad to answer them for you. = )**

**- Karina**


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